Motivation - Stop whinging.

Sometimes when the swimming is hideous and I really don’t feel like it, I have to remember what it’s all about and why I’m doing it.

I served for 6 ½ years in the Parachute Regiment and have many friends still serving, in what is becoming an increasingly difficult role each year. I have had friends injured and killed serving their country. When they return home to that same country they find they have very little support from our “government” (That’s deliberately in quotation marks).

Most recently after serving 6 months in Afghanistan my old regiment returned to the news that they may well be getting a pay cut, as much as 10% in some cases. Absolutely ridiculous but somehow viewed as acceptable by our Prime Minister David Cameron. For those of you not in England just imagine a pool of slime with lots of money who has led an incredibly privileged life, you have David Cameron.

Anyway never talk about politics it's all opinions, back to the reason I am doing the swim. I am hoping to raise as much money for Help for Heroes as possible. This is a charity set up to support injured troops after seeing the unacceptable treatment they were receiving back home. These people don’t only need our support but thoroughly deserve it as well. The majority are late teens/early 20’s just starting their lives only to lose limbs or sustain terrible injuries, both physically and mentally. Whatever your thoughts on the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, the work done by these young men and women must be appreciated. They risk life and limb everyday for very little pay, and do an absolute top notch job. The youth in this country get a lot of stick, well this country is being served by a lot of them.

My swim will be specifically dedicated to my friend Colin ‘Tom’ Beckett, who was killed in action in Afghanistan earlier this year. This was one of the best men you could ever hope to meet, and somebody I believed was indestructible. He was killed by an I.E.D. (Improvised Explosive Device) whilst covering his blokes out on patrol, a job he could easily have avoided due to his rank. But Tom would never do that. I will be wearing his name on my swim cap and that is all the motivation I will need to carry on swimming no matter what state I’m in.

So in short if I ever need an extra push to get in the water I have one. If Tom ever did push me in I would probably complete a full length in mid-air before I even touched the water!

I hope to raise at least £2,100, which will be around £100 for every mile swum. I am grateful for any sponsorship, as I’m sure Help for Heroes are…

Sick or Swim?

The age-old dilemma of training when ill has hit me this week. As you may have read on my previous post, my girlfriend Clare has recently returned from a 3 month trip around South America. She managed to take in most of the sites and have an excellent time. She decided however, to become ill just before returning home and was kind enough to pass this mysterious disease to me. She claimed it was food poisoning and displayed most of the symptoms, but it has hung around a bit too long for my liking.

Anyway I had to miss last weekends trip to Dover after spending the night with my face in a toilet and felt very sorry for myself for the rest of the weekend. I was certain, of course, that I would never recover and wouldn’t swim for weeks, if ever again.

Monday came and I was back in the pool, feeling weak and feeble but still managing to complete my session and registering some pretty decent times along the way. By Wednesday’s session I was terrible, exhausted and swimming like I had pre-Australia (probably still better than pre-Australia time wise but felt incredibly slow) so I decided to give myself a lay in on Thursday so I could have the energy for a Dover weekend.

Friday’s session went well and morale was high, I had finally beaten the disease that at one point I even feared was man-flu. This, as all men know, is the most debilitating illness it is possible to contract. So the weekend in Dover was back on, it would be good to get back into some cold water and catch up with the people on the beach.

Saturday morning, 0630, alarm goes off. Still felt ok. Quick wash (splash face with water) and some breakfast and out to the good old Saxo. It is only about a 90 minute drive to Dover from my house but by the time I arrived I was feeling considerably less than 100%. It was back.

9 o’clock arrived and Freda called us all round to announce we were to complete a 4 hour swim. Not a problem I thought, having completed 4 hours many times before. The water wasn’t looking particularly inviting though, and the sky didn’t look like it was going to make things any better, however on walking into the water it felt ok. Not lovely by any means, but not horrendous.

I paired up with Dan Martin, an extreme athlete who never seems bothered by the cold having swum in near zero degree water, and off we swum. The first 45 minutes were absolutely fine, my little finger was doing its usual performance of giving up very soon but the rest of me was swimming ok. Towards the end of the first hour though I was starting to feel a bit queasy, I put it down to the water being quite bumpy but knew deep down that my South American friend was back with a vengeance. After turning at the harbour wall on the hour I could no longer keep up with Dan, Hannah was near me though so all was well.

Then I was sick.

Swimming in your own stomach contents is never pleasant but it is something that most Channel aspirants will experience at some point so I carried on.

Then I was sick.

This wasn’t sea-sickness, it was actual sick, I was not having a nice time.

Then I was sick.

It was getting beyond a joke, I was again starting to feel very sorry for myself, I was slowing down massively and my eyes were watering. I looked at my watch, I had only been going for about 90 minutes there was absolutely no chance of finishing the 4 hours. I looked at Hannah who told me to swim to the next turn around point and then make a decision at the 2 hour feed. Very good advice, I of course ignored it and swam straight in and climbed out of the water. I wasn’t even shivering (as much as usual) but I just felt so weak and feeble.

I told Freda and Irene that I was out and went to get dressed and continue my feeling-sorry-for-myself-a-thon. Shortly after I got out another chap on his first Dover session came out, he was absolutely freezing, curled up in a ball getting hugged and having towels thrown over him. "It could be worse" I thought.

Basically training when ill doesn’t pay off. It makes the illness hang around for longer and drags out the recovery, but when training for something big it is often very hard to convince yourself to have the day off, you always feel like your slacking and losing fitness.

I will be returning to Dover tomorrow…


... I had the exact same day.

Fun in the Pool

So after a decent start to the Dover training season the pool swims had to be ramped up. Vlad had taken care of this, pretty majorly. I was now averaging 30km + a week and getting faster every time, overtaking people that I didn’t get near before Australia and Malta. I even managed to swim 10km in 3 hours and 12 minutes, knocking 57 minutes off of my personal best before Oz, admittedly my time then was very slow but I was very happy with the new time. This was purely down to training properly for the first time.

I was using all kinds of gadgets that I hadn’t used before, such as Pull Buoys, Paddles and Fins. Outside of the pool I was using ‘The Rack’ by finis, which is basically what it sounds like, a torture device, designed to stretch the tendons in your ankles. This for me has always been a major issue. I have incredibly limited ankle flexibility, probably due to wearing Army boots for years and running around like a maniac. Before I started using this bit of kit I would get in the pool for kick sets and if I didn’t move it was a success, as I usually moved backwards, however now I was able to complete a length of the pool… slowly, but still a massive improvement.

  

A typical weeks training in the Pool

I was also using Stretch Cords to practice my catch and full extensions of my arms, and just build up some more strength. You can go to the gym as much as you want but it’s hard to replicate the exact path your arm takes in the water, these cords do the trick. They are also excellent for training your Rotator Cuffs, the first muscle likely to go when attempting long swims due to their size and relative strength. It’s better to engage your ‘lats’ throughout your swimming but the shoulders always get a workout as well, it’s unavoidable (for me at least).

The only real problems I am having in the pool at the moment are the fact that I am a 30 year old man. This presents a problem due to the pool having Women only and 50 year old + sessions. There are no 30 year old men sessions. I have been asked to leave the pool on one occasion when the 50+ time slot started. There were 4 people in the pool, including me. The 3 older gentlemen weren't swimming, they were standing and talking a couple of lanes away from me, not bothered at all by me being there. The manager however thought I’d best get out despite the pool being practically empty. I had to plead to be allowed to finish my session explaining that the pool was empty and I was the only person swimming anyway, after about 10 minutes I was granted a reprieve and allowed to finish. Ironically I was finished less than 10 minutes later. It doesn’t pay to be of average age and a man when swimming in England.

When I was in Australia I noticed that swimming pools were for swimming in, if you wanted to swim this is where you would go. Here however, where there are a shockingly small amount of pools in the first place (especially 50 metre ones) there are very strict rules as to when you are allowed in. This as you can imagine is very frustrating when you have 20 lengths left of a 200 length session.

Now I am pretty much up to date with my swimming life so far and I have about 12 weeks to go until my scheduled week for my Channel crossing, August 20^th – 27^th. I have a feeling the Dover sessions are about to get a lot longer and serious. I missed the last weekend due to my girlfriend being kind enough to give me some kind of tropical disease after returning from South America. Simon and Hannah tell me they swam 3 hours and the water was about 12c. I cannot wait…

Welcome to Dover

The White Cliffs of Dover

April 30^th, England, not the time or place you would want to be gettng into the sea, however this is what about 20 of us were about to do for the start of the Dover training season. It was a much smaller turn out then expected, which we suspected had something to do with a massive over-the-top show of wealth/wedding the day before. The water temperature was 11c, the same as Folkestone last November, and 3c colder than Gozo, which had felt cold enough.

It was good to see everybody again, even though it had only been about 3 weeks, it’s always nice to see people in a similar situation to yourself. There’s a limit to how much you can talk about swimming to all your other friends. I find I bore myself quite a lot talking about it, so I can only imagine what they are thinking when I start talking about knocking 30 seconds off my time for a mile.

Hannah had picked me and Simon up for the drive down which was very handy, and much better than turning up on your own. We misjudged quite how quickly we were going to get there and ended up being the first ones to arrive, apart from the excellent volunteers who sort out all the paperwork and generally help out more than could be asked for really. There was also one other man who was training for the Irish Channel who was already in the sea and would stay there for 3 hours.

I had completed 3 weeks training on Vlads programmes and was faster than I had ever been before, literally after just these few weeks of following his programme. I had swum about 77km and was setting new p.b.’s every time I visited the pool. Simon admitted to having only swam about 10km in the same time so I knew I was putting in enough effort for now, he has the advantage of swimming incredibly well though, but I was getting there.

Dover Harbour at the bottom, Cap Gris Nez at the top, looks easy

Freda called us all round and told us where we were allowed to swim and where we weren’t, and how long we were going to be swimming for, just 30 minutes to start off with. This was expected as I was told sometimes that they start off with as little as 10 minutes because of the cold, but the water was a bit warmer this year. We kitted up, got our red caps on and jumped in to experience Dover for the first time of the year, or the first time ever!

Shockingly it was not too bad at all, in fact it felt almost warm. It was pretty choppy though, as we swam towards the iron wall the waves were crashing against it and the bottom of the sea was so churned up you couldn’t see your hands at all. I was pleased to pretty much stay with Simon the whole way, keeping up a reasonable pace. The 30 minutes flew by and in no time at all we were out. Despite not feeling that cold I continued my tradition of shivering like a mad man for a good half an hour, it was quite annoying but it could be worse.

We had about an hours break then we were back in again for 40 minutes ‘Double-dipping’. It is so much worse getting back in, then getting in in the first place, but again it was just a case of jumping in and wind-milling away as quickly as possible until I felt comfortable. Again I stayed with Simon and again the time went by very quickly, I did feel the cold a bit more this time. My little finger on my right hand appears to be my weak point as it was just flapping around like a useless piece of skin, I may have to start immersing it in ice to teach it a lesson. Also I randomly had a nose bleed. So in short despite feeling fine I was shivering, bleeding and had lost the use of one of my fingers, I dread to think how I’ll look when I feel bad.

The next day was more of the same. More people turned up and this time the swims were 45 minutes followed by an hour. Shamefully I only completed the first swim as I was meant to be on a rest day and decided I could give myself a swim off, it really wasn’t worth the mocking abuse though so it won’t happen again. Nick Adams being the major attacker, looking back it was fully deserved.

It had been an excellent first weekend in Dover. I was definitely not feeling out of my depth as I had in Australia, the pool sessions were paying off and I had a much more positive outlook for the first time in a while…

Qualification time

I remember watching David Walliams in ‘Little Britain’s Big Swim’ as he is about to start his qualifying swim in Croatia, and thinking how ridiculously impossible it seemed to front crawl constantly for 6 hours with occasional 30 second breaks for feeds. Here I was 10 months after first getting into a pool in adulthood about to attempt the same thing. I had swum for the time period before at Crystal Palace and at Rottnest but never in colder water, and never with so much riding on it. I understood if I didn’t qualify for the Channel now I could do it again in Dover Harbour, but I was not sure my confidence could take another big hit if I was pulled out. I would definitely go on to swim for at least 6 hours in Dover a few times over the summer, but I didn’t want the extra pressure of HAVING to finish again.

My roommate Simon had pulled himself out of the 6 hour swim the year previously and had ended up doing a relay swim across the Channel instead of a solo, he is a far better swimmer than me. He then resorted to a year on his famous ‘Dr Pepper’ diet, putting on some weight or ‘insulation’ and came back to attempt the swim again. I have massive respect for this, I think I would struggle to train for another entire year to do the same thing.

Greased up and ready to go

The weather on the day of the 6 hour swim was not good, not bad, but nowhere near as good as we had had it on the previous 2 days. The waves were a lot bigger than they had been and the wind was definitely more noticeable. We had a briefing on the Channel before the swim, which ended up over-running  by about 20 minutes, so by the time we started I had managed to work myself into quite a nervous wreck. At the end of the brief we all darted off to our rooms for last minute preparations, sun cream, nervous toilet breaks etc.

Slowly walking in, wasting vital seconds of the 6 hours!

Standing at the start line I looked at my watch, it was about 1130 and all I could think was I will now be swimming until 1730, madness. Then I thought that will probably be half of what it takes to get across the Channel, if not a lot more. Everyone shook hands, wished each other good luck and started our stop-watches and we were off.

The first hour is always the longest, and it was no different today, it was dragging. I felt ok and was swimming reasonably well but you just have no concept of time at all for the first hour, you literally don’t know if you have 5 minutes left or 50 minutes. The first feed finally came and everyone was in reasonably good spirits, the water didn’t feel anything like as cold as the day before and we were all reasonably happy. The second hour flew by and still spirits were high. 

Round the Pylon

We were then told that for the next 2 hours our course would be increased to swim around a pylon further out into the sea. This pleased me, as it broke the swim up a bit. Getting to the pylon however was not pleasant. The waves were massive it seemed, and the reef that the pylon was attached to seemed to be about 5cm under the surface so you had to take a really wide berth around it. It was knackering, and ruined any rhythm that I had built up getting to the pylon in the first place, it did however make the next 2 hours go a lot quicker.

At the 3^rd hour feed we noticed one of our swimmers had got out, we found out later that the cold had got to him and he had had enough and left. Another example of all the factors you have to take in when Channel swimming. He was one of the best swimmers there but really suffered with the cold and possibly psyched himself out before even getting in the water. He had also pulled himself out of the 3½ hour swim the day before but I was sure he’d do well today, it was a real shame for a nice bloke.

The 5^th hour was the hardest, not particularly from tiredness but mentally it was draining. I knew if I got through this hour then the 6^th wouldn’t be a problem as you have pretty much finished by then. I was beginning to feel the cold again, and my legs were shivering causing my hip flexors to cramp up. It was surprisingly painful. I stopped and rolled myself up trying to stretch off when Mia appeared in the boat next to me and asked if I was ok, I told her I was fine and she gave me a Milky Way chocolate bar, that was a real high point for me, amazing the little things that please you in certain situations. My morale was lifted and I swam away loving life. The 6^th hour was just a case of running down the clock, there was no way anybody was getting out now, we could all see the end in sight.

Looking good at the end

Simon and Freda

Swimming towards the end I started seeing people get out, it was over. 6 hour swim complete. I was so pleased that Simon had finished after his previous attempt, he didn’t only finish it but absolutely smashed it. The last couple of hours he was absolutely flying round and looking extremely comfortable. Morale was so high amongst everyone that finished. Hannah, who at one point looked even colder than me had really cheered up over the last hour. She was about the same speed as me and often we had ended up swimming alongside each other which made it easier somehow. It’s bizarre but you don’t really notice what you're doing when somebody else is swimming next to you, you just sort of go through the motions without thinking about it at all.

Nick, Freda, Mia and Karen all seemed genuinely happy that we had finished which was nice. One of the nice things about Channel swimming that was often commented on was the comradery and it was really obvious at the end, everyone was just as pleased for everyone else as they were for themselves.

The next couple of days were spent doing easy swims and chilling out around Gozo and Comino islands. It was a needed rest, although I didn’t feel that tired during the swims they had definitely caught up with me and I suddenly just wanted to sleep.

The end of the trip had arrived and all goodbyes were exchanged. Everybody was wished good luck for their upcoming swims. Not everyone was training for the Channel, although most were. We also had Tom who was swimming Lake Zurich, who had already completed a 2 way Channel relay (He was one of the Man-fish) and John who was swimming the Strait of Gibraltar. 

It turned out most of us would be seeing each other in a couple of weeks anyway as the season got underway in Dover on the last weekend of April, run by Freda. Then we would start experiencing some proper cold water and I was actually looking forward to it…

Swimtrekking in Gozo

After just 10 days in England I was off again, this time to Gozo with Swimtrek holidays, basically a 5 day long beast in the sea. This, ideally, would result in my qualifying for the Channel swim by completing a 6 hour swim in sub 16c water. I had completed my first week following Vlads swim sessions in England and was feeling pretty good on the flight to Malta, before the transfer to Gozo. After meeting a few fellow swimmers on the way to the hotel we decided to go for a quick dip in the sea straight away, they decided at least, I just followed. The sea looked beautiful, very clear and clean. After stepping in though I was a bit shocked by the temperature, it was 14c, which isn’t particularly cold but it felt it after the swims in Australia where it was about 24c.

Warming up after the first 2 hour swim

After the swim I got showered, met my roommate Simon, and got ready for the meet and greet dinner where we would meet the other guests and the instructors for the week. The first was Nick Adams, a man who had completed 6 channel swims including a 2 way crossing at 19 years old, alongside holding the world records for both Jersey to France and around Jersey swims, pretty incredible. The second was Freda Streeter, the mother of Allison Streeter ‘The Queen of the Channel’ who has successfully completed 43 channel swims, including a 3 way crossing, the only female to have done so at the time of writing. The third was Mia Russell, a South African former national swimmer, who would have competed at breast stroke in the Olympics if not for the politics surrounding South Africa at the time. Finally the fourth was Karen Throsby, a new instructor who had completed a Channel Swim last year, was now training for a swim across the Catalina Channel and completing a study on Channel swimmers and what makes them tick. So all in all a pretty impressive group.

2 hours?!? The start of my mistrust

The 2 fish-men, Tom and Lorcan

The next morning we were back in the water to determine what groups we were to swim in. This involved swimming 2 widths of the bay, not very far at all but far enough to work out peoples speed. As usual there were a couple of fish-men that just flew along effortlessly, but this time I was finishing pretty much with the majority so was happy. Already the water didn’t feel as cold as the day before, although my shivering afterwards would beg to differ. After sorting out our groups we had lunch and were told to meet again at the bay afterwards for our first proper swim. We were briefed about the course we would be swimming around and then told we would be swimming for 3 hours, straight in at the deep end, however we were pulled out after 2 hours to keep the body guessing. It worked, from that point on I didn’t trust anything we were told regarding swim times.

End of the 2 hour swim, horrible

Delicious Maxim

Day 3 began with a drive to a different bay, another beautiful little place with a slightly bigger circuit then our previous swim. We were told we would be swimming for 3 ½ hours, I of course didn’t believe them and convinced myself we would be doing a maximum of 3. We swam for 3 ½ hours. It was freezing. After getting out and eating some pasta we were told we had 30 minutes then we were back in for another 2 hours, again I didn’t believe, again they were telling the truth. This was without doubt my worst swim of the holiday, I was shaking and shivering from about 20 minutes in and didn’t stop for the whole time. It was horrible, I was trying to show as much signs of hyperthermia as I could but all to no avail, I had to complete the swim! After these swims we headed back to the hotel for a lecture on feeding and were told our timings for the next days 6 hour qualification swim. 11 ½ hours swimming in 2 days seemed unbelievable not too long ago, but now it felt very doable...

Vlad's Sydney Swim Sessions

I flew into Sydney a couple of days after the Rottnest swim, still a bit annoyed with myself, by ‘a bit’ I mean massively. I thought it was all over and I had no chance of ever getting across the Channel. The only thing in my favour was the lack of cut-off times on a Channel crossing, however this didn’t make up for the fact that I was completely blown out of the water by every single other swimmer I saw. Plus, excellently, I forgot to zinc the back of my hands and now had the worst sun burn I had ever experienced. They were throbbing, it really was a welcome bonus.

I felt very sorry for myself. After getting to my hotel I had a look on my phone to find a message from Vlad saying he would see me at 0600 the next morning at the pool. To say I didn’t really feel like it would be an understatement, but after everything that was said on Rottnest I thought I had better go along. This was an excellent decision.

Sydney Harbour

0515 arrived and I was up wobbling around trying to dress without really having the use of my hands. It was horrific. I made the 30 minute walk to the ‘Andrew Boy Charlton Pool’ still feeling pretty low, but within about 10 seconds of seeing Vlad again I felt a lot better. He was so enthusiastic, really loving what he was doing and you could tell straight away the whole squad loved it too. I have never seen so many happy people at 0545 in the morning!

I got in the pool and started the warm-up, pretty much immediately being over taken by everyone. I was obviously in the slow lane but it was like no slow lane I had ever seen. Vlad just said don’t worry about it, forget about everyone else and just concentrate on my stroke. He said pretty much the exact same things were wrong with my stroke that Dawn and Gill had said in England, but sometimes it hits home a bit more when you are told by somebody else. I swam for about 2 hours doing more sets and sprints then I had ever done, this was pretty much achieved after one set as I had never done them before. Vlad spoke to me after the swim and we arranged a few one on one sessions. I wasn’t completely over my post-Rottnest depression but I had had a very good start.

Drills (Press play on the bottom bar at 6 seconds for the soundtrack, youtube reasons)

As the sessions passed I was sure I was becoming faster, nothing outrageous but I wasn’t being left behind quite as much as on the first day. Vlads enthusiasm was really starting to rub off on me and I was getting back into the swing of things. ‘Smile and be happy in the water’ was his saying, and I was smiling. I was doing new drills, which were slight variants on the ones I had already practiced and I was slowly becoming more comfortable and stream lined in the water. I think seeing all these excellent swimmers still doing drills made me realise I was insane to think I could just get in the pool and do hour sets before my stroke was completely sorted. It turns out getting pulled from the water at Rottnest was the best thing that could have happened to me, it really gave me a kick up the arse that was needed. I went back to basics and it was helping immensely.

Start Line of the Sydney Harbour Classic

I still had one more swim to do in Australia, the Sydney Harbour Classic, and my aim was to finish in the pack, something I had never managed to do in any of my previous swims. It was only 2km but I entered as the chance to swim in front of the Opera House was too good to turn down.

When the day came I definitely felt more confident then I had in a while and for the first time wanted to do more than just finish the swim. As the swim started I was amazed as I wasn’t completely left behind! Usually I am alone after the first few minutes but now I was staying in touch with everyone else. I was obviously not in the middle of the pack, but just clinging on to the back of it. This was a massive improvement. As we passed the halfway buoy I was still there, and I felt fine, almost cruising along so I decided I would try to up my pace a bit. I started over taking people, this was a completely new experience. I assumed I must have been going the wrong way. I was still going past people at the end and I climbed out of the water after 33 minutes, not bad for 2km at all. There must have been a slight help from the current but I was happy to have finished in front of people rather than the finish time, as open water times are always hard to judge due to all the exterior factors involved.

Fresh as a daisy after finishing with the pack, for the first time

I had reached the end of my time in Australia after what had begun as a nightmare ended up being an excellent time. I couldn’t thank Vlad, or Cameron enough for everything they had done for me. I had never met anybody like them, willing to help with no ulterior motives at all, just awesome people. Vlad even told me he would send me a training programme to follow when I returned to England, this would help massively as there’s nothing worse than getting in the pool and not having a clue what to do, which is what I had been doing for the last few months.

First things first though, I still had to fly to Gozo on the Swimtrek Long Distance training camp, where I would hopefully complete my 6 hour cold water swim to qualify for the Channel…

The Rottnest Disaster

I flew out to Perth, Australia 1 week before the Rottnest Island swim reasonably confident that I would get across the 19.7km stretch of water but accepting that I would probably come in last place. This didn’t bother me at all. I spent the first couple of days just trying to stay awake, jet lag had hit me pretty bad and it took me until my third day in Perth just to get in the sea for a little swim. It was beautiful, almost too warm, perfectly clear and lots of things to look at under the water, I even got to swim with a little stingray for about 10 minutes. On my way back to shore I got stung on the lip (not by the stingray), which was quite unpleasant but nothing I couldn’t handle, it would be quite a different story on the day.

The view of Rottnest Island from Cottesloe beach

A couple of days before the swim Cameron, who was going to be my paddler, flew over to Perth with the rest of his swimming squad and coach. These people are proper swimmers and included Louise Stevenson who would go on to come in first out of the women and third over all. I managed to get some food with them all the night before the swim and once again realised how little I knew and how outrageous the idea of swimming the Channel so soon after learning to swim was. I felt like a little bit of a fraud, which I was to be fair. Still I thought as long as I finish I’ll be happy. I had a chat to Cameron who said he would pretty much sort out my feeding plan, he had no choice really as I had put barely any thought into it, and I was fully confident he knew what he was doing as he had completed the Rottnest swim twice, plus his obvious Channel success.

The day before the swim I had to go to the pre-swim briefing, where we got our information packs and had a safety briefing. This is where I found out there were cut-off times and you had to be at certain points along the course within certain times, or you would be asked to get out of the water. This was unexpected, however they looked very easy to make so I had no worries about it. I then went to the shops to buy myself loads of zinc and stuff for my feeding plan and was pretty much ready to go. We then went to pick up Cameron’s kayak, which was an excellent thing, it looked like it was made of Lego. Cameron is a pretty big chap and I feared for him staying above the water for the whole time I thought it was going to take me to do the swim, he didn’t seem bothered of course. We then drove to meet my pilot, Kevin, to give him all my food and get it put on ice and in the boat. He was another excellent man and everything ran very smoothly. All I needed now was to somehow get a decent nights sleep, something I hadn’t managed up to this point.

Zincing up, with the lego Kayak

0430 on the morning of the swim I was up and covering myself in suncream and zinc having managed to get about 4 hours sleep, which I was pretty pleased with. I got a knock on the door at about 5o’clock from Cameron and it was time to walk to the start line and register for the swim. I was feeling pretty good, and almost looking forward to the day. The atmosphere at the start line was awesome. I would recommend anybody who swims to, at some point, go to Rottnest. It is massive. I was to start in the second wave after the women and elites, a little bit shocked not to be included in the elites, but accepted it. My start time was 0545 so it was now just a case of trying to chill out whilst covered in zinc and strutting around in speedos. It was a happy time, I looked good. Luckily everyone else looked the same.

At the start line, still miffed I wasn't in the elite category

0545 came and we were off! There was so many people at the water at the start it really is good. Cheering crowds, loads of swimmers, photographers and announcers etc. I was loving it. When you start the race you have 1,000 metres to meet your paddler, then you have to meet your boat by 1,500 metres. I had heard nightmare stories of people having to tread water for ages waiting for their boat and crew to find them, I had no such problem and found them straight away (I say I found them, they clearly found me, I didn’t even lift my head up). It was all going so smoothly it was unbelievable, the only thing I did notice is that there were no swimmers with me anymore. This is the moment it became clear that everyone in Australia is half-human half-fish. I have never seen anything like it, they were flying past me at speeds I had never before witnessed in the water. Cameron told me to try and draft behind one of them, this lasted about 2 seconds before whoever I was drafting behind was about a mile in front of me. I decided to forget about everyone else and just get into my rhythm and plod along at my usual pace, except my usual pace now was even slower than I remembered, I felt like I was barely moving. I wasn’t.

Cameron, when there were still other boats around

I had my first feed at 45 minutes, which came around in no time. I downed whatever was in the bottle, and put my head back in the water and carried on plodding. This was when I realised I had been stung about a billion times, every time I put my hand in the water I was getting stung all the way up my arm, then on my face, then the process was repeated on the other side. I was not enjoying the stings, or the fact that the water was 24c and the air temperature was 38c. I had not envisaged being too hot on the swim, but I was definitely feeling it. By my second feed the relay swimmers were coming past me at a rate of knots, they had started 15 minutes after me and were absolutely cruising. Still I persisted with my extreme slow swim thinking all would be fine, despite Cameron giving me signals to speed up, I decided I knew best, which I didn’t

Maintaining my slow pace expertly

At my 6 hour feed I was literally completely on my own, there was not a swimmer in sight. All the relay teams had passed me, the soloists were long gone, I was just grateful that my boat had hung around. As I set off again after my feed I saw another boat approaching ours, I pretty much knew what was happening. I had failed to make the cut-off point.

Cameron was looking gutted to have to tell me that I had to get out, I was also gutted but I had nobody to blame apart from myself. I wasn’t even slightly tired having just swum 6 hours. This is not a good thing though, as it just shows that I wasn’t putting in enough effort on the swim and should have pushed myself much harder. I climbed onto the boat completely dejected thinking if I couldn’t finish a 19.7km swim how the hell was I going to get across the Channel? To put into perspective how slow I was swimming Louise Stevenson had finished over an hour before I got pulled out, and I had only got just over half way. To be fair she is an incredible swimmer.

Random photo, excellent hat

We sailed to Rottnest Island for the post race party. This would have been absolutely brilliant if I had finished the swim, but I hadn’t so it wasn’t. After a couple of hours, and beers, I was starting to feel a bit better. Everyone there was so nice and encouraging, telling me not to worry about it and at least I had a go. It really helped. I also got talking to Camerons coach Vlad, he is an excellent human being. He offered to help me get faster whilst I was in Australia by training with his squad, I accepted the offer immediately but found it hard to believe he would be able to change anything in just 3 weeks. Yet again I was wrong...

On another note I met Bondi Vet! I didn’t know who he was though. I have since watched his programme and decided he is cool enough for a name drop.

Winter training - or lack of it

First experience of really cold water, I behaved like a baby

So it came about that I had signed up for another ridiculous swim despite not being at all ready. Rottnest was just 4 months away and I had only ever swum in the sea once, and wasn’t going to get much opportunity in England over the winter. I did manage to get down to Folkestone a couple of times for a quick dip, but financially it made no sense to drive for an hour and a bit down to Folkestone jumping in the water for up to 40 minutes then driving back again. Plus I was not enjoying the cold at all, and I didn’t see the need to start acclimatising 9 months before a Channel swim then spend the next 4 months out of the sea. This was basically an excuse to not do it again, I was really not appreciating what I had committed to do.

I definitely had to up my training though as the furthest I had ever swum was still the River Dart 10k, and that was made incredibly easy by the wetsuit and current, so didn’t really count as a 10km swim in my eyes. So I started upping my distances in the pool.

I decided cold water wasn't for me, yet. 

I was slowly but surely building up my endurance, but training completely incorrectly (as I later found out). I was just getting in the pool and swimming up and down constantly, doing hour sets, averaging about 2.5km an hour. At the time I thought this was pretty decent, it helped that nobody in my local pool were particularly excellent swimmers so I had no idea how slow I actually was.

I had to swim a qualifying distance for the Rottnest Channel, 10km in the pool. I had 4 hours and 15 minutes to do this, which I thought would not be a problem at all, I was very wrong. The first time I attempted the swim I qualified with about 30 seconds to spare so I decided I should do it again, this time qualifying with about 6 minutes to spare. Slow. I forgave myself as the swim was 303 lengths of the 33 metre pool and incredibly dull, and I had qualified so all was well. I still didn’t really appreciate how slow I was, or how I should be training and just carried on with my plodding routine, this was to cost me.

I was in contact with Cameron who recommended I do a 15km swim as well before I flew over to Oz, I was understandably overjoyed to hear that.

I decided to do this at Crystal Palace pool, for 2 reasons: 1, It was a 50 metre pool, one of the only ones in London (shame on you England) and 2, I was guaranteed to have a lane for the time it would take me without it filling with school kids determined to jump on my back and drown me (This actually happened in my pool, 2 kids were bombing as close to me as they possibly could for about 20 minutes before the lifeguard managed to say a word). This was my first real eye opener as to how slow I was and how far I still had to go.

The 15km swim took me just under 6 hours and 28 minutes and after about 5 hours I went a little bit mental. The blokes in the lane next to me were swimming at about twice my speed, using just one arm or just kicking. It was horrific to watch and finally I understood…. I was incredibly slow.

I had less than a month to go before I flew to Perth for the big swim and my mind was not in a good place. I wasn’t used to being the slowest, I‘ve never been the fastest but was always happy falling into the average category. “Too late now” I thought and proceeded to give myself a 3 week taper period. One of the most ridiculous decisions of my life and it would definitely come back to haunt me…

My First Channel Crossing, and I didn't even get wet.

It was 3o'clock in the morning and I was in the car driving down what I envisaged would become a regular route to Dover. It was cold, dark and I was tired. I wasn't even going to swim, just help out on Paul Foreman's boat for an Aussie I had never met, yet I was still nervous. Not a good sign. I arrived at Dover at about 0415 and hung around in the car park not really knowing what to do. Eventually I found Paul and then Cameron (the Aussie) and his 2 other crew, also last minute recruits. I felt a bit sorry for Cameron as I imagined it must be horrible to not know anybody on the boat whilst you're attempting something like this. He was a classic Australian though and didn't seem bothered at all, far far less nervous than me. When he started swimming I understood why, he was awesome.

The White Cliffs

We got on the boat and got everything sorted, all good prep for me so I had some idea of what to expect when I did it, and sailed to Shakespeares Beach where Cameron would start his swim. I had the joy of greasing him up, yet another thing to look forward to on the big day, and he jumped in the water and swam to the beach. He stood there for about 2 minutes, if that, then was ready to go, so we started.

I had volunteered to jump in at some point to swim alongside if he started struggling, I decided after about a mile this wasn't going to happen. Firstly he wasn't going to start struggling, secondly it would be incredibly embarrassing to jump in after about 6 or 7 hours swimming and not be able to keep up, he was flying.

The first hour passed incredibly quickly and we got the feed ready chucked it over the side, it was drunk, chucked back and then he managed to eat a vegemite sandwich, as I said a classic Aussie. We repeated this process on the hour, every hour for 6 hours whilst Cameron just plodded along looking not at all bothered by anything, not even when he was told to slow down a bit as he was heading for a collision with a tanker. I cannot imagine I will be told to slow down at any point on my swim.

Having to avoid a BIG Tanker

After 6 hours feeding we switched to every 45 minutes for 2 feeds then every 30. Cameron took on board some pain killers after about 7 hours, the first sign of him being human, and yet another thing I had never even considered. It was sinking in how much of a challenge I had signed up for and how little I knew. It was awesome to see somebody just maintain perfect form for such a long time, and to not appear to be at all bothered. The conditions were good, but it was still a bit of an exhibition.

At the 9 hour feed Paul came out and shouted at Cameron that if he carried on as he was he would break the 10 hour barrier, this is quite an achievement. Again he didn't seem phased by this and just carried on as usual. The last 500 metres seemed to take an age, I can only imagine what it must feel like when you're actually swimming! It looks like you're so close to France for such a long time, it's best not to look.

Legend

After 9 hours and 40 minutes Cameron climbed out of the water at Cap Gris Nez, France having just absolutely smashed the Channel. It was nice to see that it can be done, and a perfect demonstration of how it should be done. All in all it was a very successful day, excellent to meet Paul as he would be my skipper in less than a year, and to witness a perfect swim.

On the way back to Dover, I got to talk to Cameron for a bit for the first time, he was still remarkably cool. I told him I was swimming it in August 2011 and he suggested I come over to Australia to do the Rottnest Island Swim, in Perth, as a prep swim.

Why not?

Perfect Terrible Swimming Demonstration.

This is how not to swim. Do not sign up for a Channel swim if this is your technique, it's silly. 

14(ish) weeks to go...

Right, at the time of writing this blog (my first one ever so forgive me if it's boring or pointless, probably both) I have around 14 weeks to go until my attempted swim across the English Channel. I have come a reasonably long way already and am becoming more and more confident as each week passes, which is handy as when I signed up for the swim I struggled to complete 2 consecutive lengths of my local 33 metre pool. The Channel is the equivalent of around 1,000 lengths, with the added bonus of cold water, jelly fish, unpredictable weather and sea sickness.

This idea all started many years ago when I was in the Parachute Regiment and based in Dover, I decided then that I was going to swim to France and set about making it happen, by 'making it happen' I mean I did absolutely nothing apart from talk about it a couple of times, whilst drunk.

Just 10 years later I decided to learn to swim, I had to do this as I had already signed up to attempt the crossing.

The first thing I did was watch some videos on youtube and read some books, eventually I decided I should at some point get into a pool. That was a depressing experience. 1 length and I was in absolute tatters, and just over an hour later I had completed 40 lengths and was thinking I had possibly under-estimated the challenge ahead of me. I had, massively. I needed some coaching.

Again I looked through t'internet and found Total Immersion, a company that claimed to be able to improve your swim technique in just one weekend. It was a very easy task in my case as it was impossible to make my stroke any worse, so I signed up for the weekend to see what it was all about. It was excellent. By the end of the weekend I was by no means swimming like a pro, but definitely knew where I was going wrong and knew how to work on it. I then signed up to get some 1 on 1 lessons in Southend with Dawn and Gill at Tri'n'swimW.E.L.L. swimming in an endless pool full of cameras to get a complete stroke analysis. I was truely terrible at swimming, and looked nothing like I thought I looked like underwater, just shocking.

Ready for my 1st mile

Happy to have finished

Slowly but surely my technique improved and confidence started rising. I entered the Great London Swim in the River Thames and swam my first open water mile in 37 minutes, after initially swimming directly into a canoe. This was after about a month of swimming so I was just pleased to finish, but now realised I was incapable of swimming in a straight line, yet another thing I hadn't thought of. Dawn and Gill kept teaching me, and I kept practicing what I was told, and it was paying off. I entered more open water swims and finished them, still really slow times and in a wetsuit so nothing special, but my confidence was growing every time. I then entered a 10k swim, despite my furthest swim ever being 3km with the tide on a Pier to Pier swim.

Slightly nervous pre-swim

And they're off!

The 10km swim was surprisingly easy as it was down the River Dart, in Devon,  and had a massive current helping me along, plus again it was in a wetsuit so I could probably have just laid on the water and floated to the end. But again it was a confidence booster, as I did have to front crawl for a few hours despite the current assistance. I was again one of the last to finish, this was fully expected though so I wasn't that bothered and was beginning to think that speed didn't matter so long as I finished.

It was now the end of Open Water swimming in England so I had to get used to just swimming in the pool all winter. Just as I was accepting this I got an email from my Channel Pilot, Paul Foreman, asking me if I could assist an Aussie swimmer on a Channel Crossing, as he needed a crew and his swim was tomorrow. It was 10o'clock at night and I had to be in Dover for 3o'clock the next morning. I of course accepted.....